I'm not quite sure what has happened to me. I sometimes don't even recognize myself in the mirror. I used to be a happy and optimistic person with bright eyes and a great outlook on the future. I can't find that person anymore. She has vanished. In her place is a woman with a few gray hairs and wrinkles around the eyes and a crabby disposition. I think it's motherhood. I am, by nature, a peacemaker. I can't STAND to fight with Andy and if we do have a little fight, it is resolved very quickly. So why am I constantly yelling and fighting with my children? Why do they get on my nerves SO very quickly? Where did they learn what buttons to push with me?? Because they are the only two people on this earth who can really push me over the edge. I despise yelling at them. I despise disciplining them. Yet most of my days are filled with reprimands and punishings and a very unhappy momma.
How hard is it to get shoes on and get buckled in the car? Why must I ask 10 times?
Am I your cruise director or your mom? Why do you expect me to tap dance for you 24/7?
You make the mess - you clean it up!
Is it just me? Is it just my house that sounds like this? Will I ever get my sanity and sunny disposition back? Will Andy let me get Botox around my eyes?
I will admit though, the one shining star I have in my life is my marriage. THANKFULLY, I married a dreamboat who adores me and takes such good care of me. He understands when I need a break and is ready and willing to step in to allow me that break. When the house seems to crumble in on me I can look forward to him coming through the door and hugging me and, in that moment, all is right.
Except right now......he is in New York on business. I need a hug.
8 comments:
hug!
It may not be the same---but HUG!!
And the Hall household is NO DIFFERENT. Yes, we must ask 10 times if not 20 or more, and yes they have more than enough energy to make the mess, but are too tired to clean it up. Yes, we all want to kiss them because they are so cute one minute and bash their little skulls against concrete the next---it's the cycle of life. We did this to mom and now the next generation must do it to us. Luckily the circle will continue and they shall one day be as miserable as we are now. Oh---Spencer got a black mark yesterday,,,2 more and he gets a Christmas present taken away on christmas morning--after he unwraps it and shows his delight,,,"sorry buddy, not yours to keep!" I'm ditching Chad with the boys next wed,,for dinner at Magelbys (all you can eat snow crab) with M and D---take a break and come with us. You deserve it for resisting the urge to bash their skulls against concrete.
No, yours isn't the only house, mine sounds like that too sometimes. It kind of seems like more so this past week. Andrew has been EXTRA trying, and pushing EVERY SINGLE BUTTON I have. I always wonder when will this be over? And then I remember he's just getting warmed up. I have YEARS ahead of me, tantrums, screaming hysterical fits, throwing things. At least he hasn't resorted to spitting. I have a friend who says her 3 year old daughter spits.
These smart little kids must have known we were born with endless buttons.
I have a theory that most kids become extra naughty at Chiristmas which makes things extra hard to tolerate! Keep smiling, even if it is fake, and if worse comes to worse, head to McD's and get some fries and a Diet Coke.....my make me happy meal!
Love ya!
I used to be a nice person!!!! Most days lately I don't think I am! Mommyhood is tough, hang in there.
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